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Playing With God

Someone having never before met Amma may notice something a little odd about the people who come and spend time with Her. There may be -- along with children -- adults carrying dolls around with them. Not just any doll, but a doll that looks like Amma. Even people who have known Amma for a long time wonder about this. This is the story of the Amma doll.

A few years ago, after my family met Amma, we moved to Her ashram in India. At the time, our daughter was very fond of a particular baby doll, which she loved to carry along with her. One day, Amma remarked that she should carry a doll like Krishna, or something similar, that would help her mind go toward God instead of going toward worldly things. I used to make dolls for my children, and after hearing Mother's comment, I strongly wanted to make an Amma doll. But I hesitated thinking that it might be disrespectful towards Her.

In 1993, when we went on the US tour, I made for the children their Krishna dolls. Many people saw these Krishna dolls and were attracted to them. They suggested that I make an Amma doll. When we returned to India, I asked Mother about it. Her answer was a resounding "Yes!"

My intention was to make ONE doll! Little did I know that the demand for Amma dolls would be more than I could meet.

One night, not saying a word to anyone about what I was doing, I stayed up making the first Amma doll, finishing only in the early morning. Shortly after completing the doll, there was a knock at our door. This was a little unusual since it was so early in the morning. It was a friend. She said she had spent the whole night trying to make an Amma doll out of her pillow by wrapping a sari around it. Then she asked if there was any way I could make an Amma doll for her. Shocked, I took the Amma doll I had just finished and showed it to her. My friend was really surprised!

The Teachings of a Doll

Amma teaches us a lot while making the dolls. When I first started making the Amma dolls, if I forgot to chant my mantra or if my mind wandered off into something other than Amma, the thread would break or there would be a knot to untangle.

It wasn't too long afterward that I began to realise that it wasn't me designing the doll -- but the doll herself was deciding how she wanted to be made. Every doll has some unique quality, and even when I felt the doll should look or be different from what she was becoming and tried to change it, I could not! These unique differences have always been the key point in someone's attraction to the doll.

Concentration plays a very important role in meditation, and in keeping our minds centred on God: the Amma doll can help us do just that. With an Amma doll we can think of Amma and hug and kiss Her, dress Her, sleep with Her, and play and talk with Her. The dolls help us to remember God.

When you sleep with an Amma doll, and wake up in the middle of the night still half asleep, your mind wonders: "Where is Amma?" So even in our sleep, our mind is still on Amma, and when we wake up, there she is.